It is the second year of complete occupation. It is still difficult to return emotionally. To remember. To feel the pain again, as it was when you saw our last Heroes leave the territory of Azovstal. Overwhelming, endless pain.
The 86 days of the incredible Great Defense of Mariupol. At the exorbitant cost of tens of thousands of civilian lives, thousands of military lives, and hundreds of thousands of forever crippled souls.
I am often asked what is the second year of occupation for me? For us? For the second year, we are trying to find our people. To find out the truth – how much. How many did the Russians actually kill? Some of our neighbours, friends, and acquaintances who have disappeared have already been buried in the ditches of mass graves.
We have been living with a certain hope for two years. That a missing person could be found in a strange way. That it could turn out that someone is in captivity. That someone has amnesia. It’s also a difficult thing, but it means a person is still alive.
For two years, we cannot get to the graves of our ancestors. Yes, there are also problems with housing, work, and property – all of this is here, but. We cannot visit and pay our respects in the simple Christian tradition.
For active Ukrainians, the inability to say out loud the names of friends who are in captivity is an additional challenge. As is asking about the fate of civilians arrested during filtering. Because it will immediately change the status of prisoners and make their lives much more difficult. This is what two years of occupation are for us. Silent pain, hope and rage.
The same is true for those behind the front line. They are there, in occupation. For two years, they cannot raise their heads without fear. They do not put Ukrainian in the phone settings. They speak in hints, where in every “I’m all good,” you hear something else. The truth is that we are separated by kilometres and the front. But we are united in the main thing. Still.
Two years, and our city is still gone. We do not recognise the city. Not those who are here. Not those who are there. This is not our Mariupol in every sense. But, most importantly, the city is not theirs. And this feeling of being foreign to everyone but familiar to us inspires hope and allows us to continue fighting. Together for one goal: taking it back and returning home. Despite everything.
By Petro Andryushchenko
*These opinions are solely those of the author. The Ukrainian Review takes no position and is not responsible for the author’s words.
Petro Andryushchenko was an adviser to the mayor of Mariupol. After the Russian Federation started war in Ukraine in February 2022, he became the de facto “voice” of Mariupol.
On his Telegram channel, “Andryushchenko Time“, he tells the truth about the horrors of the occupation, the deportation of people by the Russian occupants and the “filtration” camps in Donbas.
Stanislav Kinka adapted this text for The Ukrainian Review.
